Love

This is a deep thought on love in life

MGK 4 LIFE

Love. People say that all you need is a little love in your life. And I couldn’t agree more. With love even the people with the most hatred in their hearts, could change. But just yesterday, my friend asked me a question. Can love last? I told her my most honest opinion, I said no. I mean love could last, but not forever because at some point in people’s lives they just stop trying to create love, or trying to pass it on. I’m not saying that love is never around. It’s always around. You just have to notice it’s there. But love will eventually run out because people will just stop loving each other. Even if it takes a week or decade, it runs out. But I’m not telling you not to love, I’m just telling if you do love than keep that love going. Never stop loving someone…

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The Beginning

this is a good start to blogging in my opinion

MGK 4 LIFE

Hey guys! So this is my first ever blog… I have no idea what to write. *sigh* OK. Well I should probably start off by telling you a little about myself. I am 15 years old. I live with my foster parents. I have two, idk what their called, foster siblings. My mom died when I was 3 and so my dad put me up for adoption a month later. Then my dad died when I was 10. I had two siblings then too, a brother and a sister. My brother, Casper, died a couple of months ago and my sister, Aisha, died of stage 4 lung cancer two years ago. So my life has been pretty fucked up. Um well I live in The Land. I love MGK and batman. But I mean cmon, who doesn’t right. I think that’s pretty much it. If you guys wanna know more…

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Introvert or Extrovert?

As I sat on my couch I thought about a song called ‘Here’ by Alessia Cara and it touched my soul in more ways than one. Why? The song talks about the main protagonist not liking parties, she’d rather be at home reading a book cuddled up. People like her including me are called Introverts. I  don’t like going to school dances and nor parties a lot with strangers. People who aren’t afraid to go out and dance on the dance floor and mingle with others are Extroverts. I’m the complete opposite of my dad and older sister. They love going out and having a good time at parties and being there until the early morning hours. While I on the other hand sit to the side and look around at everyone else. During football season i have no choice but to go on the field and play my instrument (Alto Saxophone) in front of everyone. I’d rather be at home reading a book cuddled up with some hot chocolate. My sister used to somehow always talk my parents into going to the football games and of course I’d have to tag along. In the stands their crew would be 20 deep and man was it uncomfortable for me. All of them smooching and making out while I was the youngest one over there just looking out at the game. I’d rather be somewhere else warm and safe then outside in the cold with no one my own age to talk to. Every time the school cancelled a football game it was good news to me. When I went to the football games I always asked myself “Why am I here”? So to sum it up are you a introvert or a extrovert?

Why people targeted me for me

When most boys see me and see my sister they cannot believe that we are even related in any way. She’s skinny and has long hair and is graceful in almost everything she does (except for school). But me on the other hand I’m fatter than other kids in my grade and most consider me not as pretty as my older sister. My face is filled with acne scars and hair is shorter than hers. I am really insecure about myself, this all started when my sister older friends started to pick on me and talk about me in 5th grade. Everyday after school I’d fear what they would say about me and how much I didn’t belong with them. After that it’d been hard for me to recover from the insults. I guess 6th grade wasn’t all that much better after I got caught up in a damned love triangle! In 7th grade I was told by some ugly motherfucker (excuse the French) also in the 7th grade said I was in quote “A ugly Fat Ass Bitch”. The same day a boy named Tyrie called me in quote “A ugly fat girl”. That day wasn’t the best day I’ve lived to see. I’d gone on to spiral into a depression filled weekend where I didn’t wanna eat because I was too fat for anyone’s good. All the insults helped me realize that people only wanted to talk about me because they weren’t happy with themselves. Like honestly dude why do you feel the need to call me out on my weight? Is it hurting you? Is it bothering you? If its bothering you then take that party somewhere else because there’s a one way street over here. My point here is that calling someone out of there name can only really end badly for that person. Just because you see their imperfections and they bother you to the point that you have to say something about it means that your a fool. I know I need to lose weight for my health but not for your happiness. Like I would say “Fuck off”!

lets start having real talks

I’m 14 and I’m bored because I just started summer vacation and I need something to do with my life. I’d been thinking of starting my own blog about my personal experience’s and others personal experiences too. I sometimes need to write to vent out my anger and not feel like I’m the only person going through the same things in the everyday life of a average Joe. I live in Ohio, I have 1 sister and 1 brother and I am the middle child. My favorite artists are Tove Lo, Banks, Lana Del Rey, and Lorde. I seriously hope this does get seen by someone. But If whoever has questions for me email me at Tajiana.ka.jt@gmail.com